Joe Millionaire 2 tracking chart – through the finale

10/21/03 - updated 10/27, 11/2, 11/3, 11/10, 11/17,11/25

By Philip F. Rose

Well, Joe Millionaire is back, and so is my tracking chart.

This ahh-shucks wholesome-as-apple-pie cowboy (with the emphasis on boy) and I don’t see much eye to eye as far as women or anything else. I don't know. He thinks cursing and being dominant makes a girl "like a guy". To me, the kind of girl who doesn't curse, have a little attitude, and carry on a smart conversation would be the non-starter. Well, he can go for the model-thin shy “tall drinks of water”, and I’ll be favoring the smart beautiful ones.

Finale: The first half hour was mostly recapping; mixed in were current moments of Cat and Linda talking to each other and each to the camera. Linda told Cat that she deserved to be here at the end, to which Cat responded honestly and bluntly (as always) that she wasn't happy about the fact that if Linda hadn't come back, Cat would have had it sewn up. Linda didn't disagree. It was actually very refreshing, as Linda and Cat talked to each other and to us about the situation. Here are two thoughtful women who respect each other and understand what David sees in the other. I know all the outrageous ones and naive ones are entertaining, but it felt very right that these two be the final contenders. (Petra was also worthy.) Cat is much smarter than Linda, and ten times more my type, but I actually think that Linda is probably a better fit for David. They are both appealing.

Linda's final date was a disaster. David was awkward and Linda, in trying to show how much she appreciated him, kept talking about how honest and generous he was, and how he'd made her feel like a lady, culminating in her saying to him: "You're like, very honest and pure and genuine person," all the while David knowing that neither the honesty nor the generosity were really true.

David seems to really care for Cat, and he undeniably enjoys being with her, but throughout the series he has said things like this from tonight:: "Cat would be a sure deal." It makes me feel like he's settling for her because she has been so good at making it easy for him, because she hasn't played games with him (or in her own head, like Linda) but has simply made their time together good. In other words, does he love her or does he just love being with her?

For Cat's final date, she was gorgous in a black minidress and sandals with a tie ring. (!) (We also learn tonight from a different outfit that she has a scroll tattoo at the small of her back!!!) Cat gives David a gift of music, a specific CD that means a lot to her. That's beautiful - it's not about money or even decoration, it's about feelings. I don't know if he understood the importance of the specific music to her, but what Cat didn't realize was that this was a real signal to David that she wasn't about possessions or getting stuff from him, as contrasted with Linda talking about how much she appreciated the gifts he'd given her. Always the flirt, when David says he's stressed out and can't sleep, Cat's response: "How can I help you?" with a crooked smile.

And then the final elimination: Cat. Oh my God! He chose Linda. He went with his heart even though she made it so hard for him.And, as I'm sure you all already know, she didn't accept. It was the lie, not the money, she says. And so, to continue the unnecessary recap, David returns to Texas, starts to relax at a ranch they've provided for that purpose, and then appears Paul, to present him with a letter from Linda saying that, in love, lies are the hardest thing to deal with and she was just too confused and scared that night, and then appears Linda, in Texas. She accepts the ring, they start enjoying each other's company, including one of their first, if not their first, open-mouth kiss (they really barely know each other,) and Paul appears again. Linda really seems not to know why.They had told David from the beginning (did we already know this? I didn't.) that he would get no money so that he would also think that wasn't the goal. So when Paul lifted the cover from the platter, there was one check, a quarter million for Linda. Then Paul, reminding David of the deal, with an impish expression says that it's not money, but the 90-acre ranch they were on was now his. So we get our fairy tale ending after all. I hate to add a sour note to this happy ending, but I have to say this one thing: Linda's behavior, changing her mind over and over, putting a guy who loves her through the ringer over and over, reinforces one of the oldest stereotypes of women and relationships. But that said, I thought Linda was a far better match for David than most of the others, and he clearly fell for her in week one, much more so than they let us see, even. And she really does seem like a sweet, good person. So I wish them the best.

Wk5: Petra always like to be cheerful and friendly, and make meaningless small talk to be social. She couldn't stand the fact that when it was just her and Cat in the house, while Anique was on a date, that Cat didn't talk to her; it drove her crazy. Why couldn't she just ignore Cat and have a nice day by herself? She's sitting there saying "Sometimes you have to get over it and you have to do things that you don't like. People has to grow up, that's life." And the thing Petra is saying Cat has to do to act like a grownup is be nice to Petra even though they both know they don't like each other. So stupid. So, so stupid. Cat's response? "I so don't like you." It was beautiful.

David became convinced on their private date shopping and at the luxury resort that Anique valued the money too much. I'm not sure why he was so strong in this feeling. I don't know that all the other girls were tested in the same way, though Petra did show authentically that she does not, I believe Petra was fun and playful on the private date. And she particularly teased David about his expensive sandals that he couldn't walk in, saying she'd buy him a pair of $3 flipflops. She also said to us that she liked the fact that he still had some country boy ways about him. I think she impressed him that she didn't care about the money and that it was authentic. He also thinks Cat isn't interested only in the money but made a good observation to the camera that she was looking for a way out of Germany. She said she was interested in acting. So while it's not the money only, maybe she's seeing David as a ticket to American citizenship. It's happened before.

Then they dropped the bombshell. Linda had asked the producers if she could come back and talk to David. I don't know if she asked for this or if it was the producers' idea, but they decided to give David the option to bring her back by eliminating one of the remaining three. While he tought he was taking a break by himself for a few days, they surprised him with Linda. They talked and she explained how she left the show not because she wasn't interested in him but for these other reasons and how she regreted it. Personally, I never liked Linda that much, though I had no serious complaints, but the fact that she was so easily manipulated by the other girls was not attractive. Even now, her thinking is questionable. Basically, she says that she wondered after she left whether she had missed her big chance at happiness, her one shot. She's just not that bright, and she's overly romantic in a weak way. On the other hand, David is no rocket scientist and has corny views about love too, and they seemed to really have chemistry before she quit. (I don't mean that being a romantic is corny. I'm right up there with the worst of them. I mean the stuff like thinking girls shouldn't curse, and talking about looking for a real lady in Europe.) So the question became keep the existing three girls or eliminate one to make room for Linda.

David before elimination: Petra - "She's the type of girl that could make a guy happy forever." I guess what he means is that she's so pleasant and cheeful. He also thinks she's gorgeous, though I don't agree. He called her a babe, or should I say bayyy-ub. David seems to have a near-fetish feeling about really tall women, and Petra is the only really tall one left. Well... Anique - "A guy could want to spend his entire life with Anique. She's a mystery really and she's going to keep you wondering the whole time." Notice he says 'a guy' not 'I'. Also, I'm not sure it's that much of a complement to say someone can't ever be figured out. Cat - "She'd be a great lover. Real intimate. I have fun with Cat. I'm comfortable with Cat." That's pretty harsh, really. Based on other things he's said in the past, he's basically saying she'd be a fun relationship -- fun to do stuff with and great in bed -- but she's not wife material.

Probably with the money issue being decisive, David eliminated Anique. Afterwards, when they told Petra and Cat that someone was coming back, Samantha said they gave David the option of bringing one girl back and he picked someone. They didn't say that she asked to come back, nor did she say that David could have kept Anique and not brought someone back. Are they lying to the girls so they won't think it's unfair that Linda asked and it was given just to her? Do they want the girls to be less jealous of her special treatment? It actually makes Linda seem more special on one level because it seems like David picked her out of them all the eliminated girls, though the real story shows he picked Linda over one of the final three when he didn't even have to. (If he really had a choice, that is.) (Oh, and I mentioned David's fetish for super-tall girls before. Linda is the other tall one, so now two of the final three are the two out of the original group who were super- tall. Linda is actually a model.) Cat seems far more bothered by this turn of events than Petra. I think this is because Cat thought she had it all sewn up, and now she's not so sure. And while she acted happy to see her when she arrived, of all the possible returnees, she's probably at a disadvantage only to Linda. Linda continued the deception, both of how she was picked to return and also concealing her meeting with David in the preceedings days.

Week 5 Part2- Linda is starting to realize that because the other girls have been with David, they've had the chance to build more of a bond, and this may not be easy to come back in after all.

In telling Linda about her date on Sardinia Islands and how fancy it all was, Petra said "It was really nice of David." This isn't the first time Petra's done that. See week 3 where she said he made amazing barbecue. It's as if she has no concept that he has to do these things for the show, or that he's simply paying for them (thought not even that) rather than somehow doing them himself. (Or maybe she's just stupid.) It's kinda weird. Week 1, she said "I'm the kind of girl who wants diamonds and pearls; diamonds are a girl's best friend." Week 3 she made the BBQ comment. Week 4, the note she left behind on the Ponte Veccio was 'Princess was here'.But then week 5 she teases him about his expensive impractical designer sandals and said she'd buy him a $3 pair of flipflops. But then in the second hour of week 5, she says "I'm sort of a princess, and I think David has the possibility of being a good prince." Does she only like the country poor things when she knows it's just character added to an 80 millionaire?

While Petra was on a date, Cat started working on Linda the way she used to work on Anique, telling her the things she'd done sexually with David and how he was really interested in her. If we're to believe the editing sequence, Linda's worrying went up. I know it's kinda bad of Cat, but if someone is that easily manipulated, it's hard to feel like it's that wrong. All she did it talk and tell Linda true things. It's just that she was doing it for motives, but she wasn't doing anything sleazy. It's just that easy to mess with Linda's head. The date with Petra was nice, and it ended in David's room with at last some kissing behind closed doors. The next morning, he went to breakfast with Linda. They talked alot, she made it clear she had real feelings for him and he seemed to respond in kind, but after a walk holding hands, when he went to kiss her, she pulled away. She thinks she was establishing that she wasn't just the next girl in line. He's totally confused. While he's away on his date with Cat, Linda goes to town and buys him a gift, a little porcelain angel, and writes him a note signed "Your new angel." Linda hears David in the hall and opens the door and sees him in front of Cat's door kissing Cat passionately, and closes the door quickly.Of course, afterwards, Cat made sure Linda knew.

Meanwhile, David has to make an elimination decision between Cat, who he has definite felings for, Petra who he may, and Linda, who won't even kiss him, but who he obviously had the strongest feelings of all for. But now he's freaking out because he says he feels like he did something disloyal to Linda with Cat, though he thought Linda was gone, and he feels like he did something unfair to Cat by bringing Linda back. They show him crying in his room talking it over with a crewmember. In the elimination, they name Linda first. What an odd choice. Took that right off the table. Then Cat. So it's Linda and Cat, the two women he's had strong feelings for. He chose to take the chance that Linda was worth looking into further. Did he realize there was a princess duplicity in Petra, or did he just have less strong feelings for her than the other two? So, with much hinting that the ending will be a surprise, next week is the two-hour finale.

Wk4: On a personal note, I must say that it was wonderful to see Florence. I miss it terribly. As a New Yorker, Rome does less for me. It's a big city. But Florence is the most magical place I personally have ever been.

With Skin cancelled, Fox is doubling up, at least this week and next with 2 hours on Monday night. Tonight's theme was certainly the war between Olinda and Cat. Or to put it more accurately, the attacks from Olinda aimed mostly at Cat, and a little at Petra. Once or twice, Cat cried genuinely in private. The rest of the time she was either unmoved, or good at hiding it as Olinda took jab after jab, eventually resorting to saying "I so hate you" straight to her. Later, Cat confronted her, saying "Why do you hate me now?" Olinda's response: "Not now, we hated you the whole time, Cat." Whatever slack I was cutting Olinda for the fact that she tries to be fun ended in the opening minutes of these two hours. And when I say slack, she already had a score of - 4, with everyone else in positive numbers, before tonight. But with her visciousness tonight, I finally decided that the playfulness if phoney and that Olinda is simply a hateful, dishonest person.

David says that Anique was 2nd or third from the bottom the whole game until week 4's first hour, but they had a lovely date, then another, and now he seems smitten by her: "Anique is very, very, VERY good looking. Any time I get around her, I'm like, this girl is stunning, you know. She's pretty magical." . I'm bothered by the fact that she seemed willing to be with Olinda while Olinda was being evil, but maybe she just didn't know how to deal with it.

All the other girls, at Olinda's lead, beat up on Cat pretty bad. It wasn't just Olinda. I'm sure part of it is her German reservedness and maybe hipper- than-thou attitude, but I can't help thinking alot of it is jealousy for how gorgeous and easygoing she is. This 21 year old is much more grown up than the others. I just don't see what she's done to justify them all bring so bothered.

On the first solo date, Cat looked breathtaking, and she and David had a wonderful conversation, drank and ended up kissing. On their second solo date, David: "Yeah, it's hot under the lights." Cat: "Oh, it's the light?" She flirted directly, and he responded eagerly. They held hands, they walked, they kissed, and the conversation was good too. At the end, he took her to his room for a drink on the balcony. Later that night, they showed her sneaking back into his room, but they didn't make it clear if she stayed or not, or what went on. At the end, Paul said of Cat, "Is she getting a leg up on the competition, so to speak?" So maybe they did have sex that night.

In the first hour, Kristyna and Giada, neither of whom made any significant connection with David, were pretty easy choices for elimination, though I would have gotten rid of Olinda rather than Giada, of course.

And in the end, despite having said that his second date with Olinda, where they dressed as gladiators, was the most fun he'd had on a date, David knew that Olinda needed a man with money, and that their worlds were too different, and with them setting it up as Cat or Olinda, at the end of the second hour, David easily went with Cat. He finally did something right!

At the end, after the ceremony, with the three remaining girls after Olinda left, the two Dutch girls, Petra and Anique, and the German Cat, Anique said only half kiddingly to Cat: "World War II, Holland against Germany." Cat: "But Germany is bigger than Dutch." Anique: "Yeah, but we're bigger than you, and more evil." Cat: "Yeah, that's right."

Cat is so far out ahead of the others now, by my taste and what they've shown us, but I've heard the mumbling that she's not really nice. But if what people have been talking about is her directness, the fact that she doesn't want to make small talk with asses like Olinda, and the fact that she's being competative, flirting with David and not trying to make the other girls feel better about her success, in the ways they've already shown us, well, then I still have no problem with her at all, and if I knew her, I'd certainly be VERY interested. Anique seems nice, but she seems young and not fully formed as a person yet, which is fine, but I don't find that attractive. And Petra has never impressed me as particularly smart or interesting and refers to herself as a princess, always a warning sign, especially considering the deceit at the center of this plot. So, Cat! Cat! Cat! until I see for myself some reason why not.

Wk 3: I'm confused. David says he don't want no buckle bunny, then he tests the girls by seeing if they mind shoveling manure? Anique looked especially breathtaking as a cowgirl. Giada, who's so comfortable and beautiful as a Eurogirl, looked totally uncomfortable and bad as one. In fact, she seemed awkward and non-elegent all episode. But when it came to overnight camping outside, while Petra, Anique, Alessia and Cat agreed to stay, and the rest went back indoors, by morning only Cat was still there, and looking beautiful. Cat has been nice, smart, and beautiful, she's a DJ and we discovered this week that she has a pierced tongue. She was having a good time and she was being nice. Largely due to the elimination of all my top choices, Cat is now way out in the lead. Then in the shocking turn of events, Linda decided the pressure of all the other girls being jealous of her special connection with David was too much and asked him to vote her off. Not that he had to, and idiot that he is, he did, thinking she really wanted it. In reality, while it is a flaw that she is so easily spooked, she didn't want to leave and he probably could have coaxed her back into having fun. Instead he kept Olinda once again?! Alessia and Lina were the other two eliminees. While Alessia has always been near the bottom of my list, I was enjoying her funness more and more and her behavior as she left, trying to keep Olinda from crying being kidding around with her, was so sweet I would have added a point to her right then, except that she was already gone. Lina's time was well past.

Wk2b: David had excuses for eliminating Karolina and Tereza. For all I know he believes them. But the obvious fact is that since the beginning I've been saying they were clearly the most intelligent two, especially Tereza. Personally I think he eliminated Tereza for a pretty obvious reason: he said in the setup that he wanted a European lady, not a dirty-talking girl. Well, Tereza was cursing left and right. I think her cursing, then apologizing, or telling us she's not wearing underwear but then acting embarassed, is a flirting strategy to tell you that she's wild, but then to back off and not make it so rude, like Olinda or Alessia. I thought she was adorable. But she clearly wasn't the right woman for David. With Karolina he says that he eliminated her because she was Linda's friend and that he's really interested in Linda and doesn't want Linda uncomfortable that he's also dating her friend. That makes more sense, but I still think it's mostly that he didn't have any chemistry with her. He seems to prefer his women shallow. (Or "hot" like Cat, but I don't think his interest will continue with her. She's too smart and interesting for him.) And he continues to keep Olinda and Alessia, even though they continue to be obnoxious and ridiculous. Are we sure he's not being encouraged to keep them for entertainment value?

Wk2 comments: So, my second favorite, Yassamin, was eliminated. He seems to think the two super-tall girls, Anique and Petra, and the not-quite-as-tall but super-skinny pro model Linda are the most beautiful, though as cited in the comments, he thinks “Czech chicks” are hot and wild and exotic. (He kept all four Czechs, BTW.)

He had earlier said that he thought Lina, who I had previously noted was bordering on rude to him, was being playful, but then after the elimination said to Paul: “Like Lina, when I was putting the pearls on, I kinda got a vibe like, she was like 'You better have picked me.' Kinda, you know, it's like, wow and I was like why did I choose her when I coulda chose one of these others." I agree, David (with the sentiment, not the grammar.) Too bad you were too stupid to see it a few minutes earlier, and you could have kept Yassamin!

He kept my two least favorite, Allesia and Olinda, who are both wild and obnoxious. He said of one of them, I forget which, that it would be fun to have her around on the dates. Well, OK, but you’re eliminating others that might be more worthy. Ah, heck, it’s entertainment in the end, isn’t it?

But at LEAST he kept my favorite -- since the beginning and still -- the smart, gorgeous, fun and funny writer, Tereza, who capped off the night by saying "I thought maybe I was gone, because I was cursing, I was drinking vodka, and I wasn't wearing any underwear."

So, without further ado, the chart, with each girl, their identifying facts, and comments and scoring for each episode:

The scoring is mine alone and it is a mixture of personality and looks and intelligence and things they do that charm me or annoy me. I add and subtract whole points and half points and this just accumulates as the weeks go on. Sometimes a girl will change direction, or do things within an episode that cancel each other out. It's even less scientific since, obviously, I'm depending on what the producers show us. The last score showing is bold if they were kept, italic if they were eliminated.

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