Acting Like a Two-Year-Old: Heidi of ‘Joe Millionaire’

by David Bloomberg -- 01/17/2003

Originally posted at

Joe Millionaire’s Heidi had a boyfriend at home, but she wanted to try on another one who had more money. She claimed that she didn’t get upset when things don’t go her way – that she hasn’t acted like that since she was two, yet that was exactly the way she acted on national TV. Simply put, Heidi acted in a shameful manner.

Heidi from Joe Millionaire did not at first seem to be the shoo-in for Hall of Shame induction that some of our candidates (such as Jerri Manthey or Anna Nicole Smith) were. After all, she was only on two episodes of the show, and was but one of 20 women in the first and 12 in the second. But after reviewing her actions in those two episodes, plus some of the things she said in her bio on the show’s official website, we determined that she was, indeed, Hall of Shame material.

Let us begin with Heidi’s reason to even go on the show to begin with. For those out of the loop, Joe Millionaire is supposed to be a dating show. The women are supposed to be there to try to woo – or be wooed by – Evan Marriott (whom they know as Evan Wallace), who is supposed to have recently inherited $50 million. Will the women be after Evan, or just his supposed money? While some of the other women have claimed that they were suckered into it and the like, there seems to be little doubt as to why Heidi is there. In her bio information on the show’s site, she was asked, “What drove you to television to look for love?” Her response? “Nothing drove me to look for love on television. I was more intrigued by the idea of traveling to Europe than I was by finding love on a TV show! I have to admit that it was beneficial that the guy was put through psychological exams prior to being selected for the show, but I was in it for the experience not for love.”

So while the other women were (at least supposedly) looking for love, she was just there for the “experience.” And what would she have done if she’d won? Well, maybe by that point she would have mentioned to Evan that she has a boyfriend! Yes, she came onto a dating show while already having a boyfriend at home. And she even told the other women about it, which of course made them rather angry. Amusingly, she even mentions him in her bio when she answers the question, “If Evan had approached you in a bar and offered to buy you a drink would you have accepted?” She says: “If Evan were to have approached me in a bar my boyfriend would more than likely have solved that wrinkle for me.” Nice.

But it gets worse. Heidi not only isn’t looking for love, but she apparently is looking for the money. Her comment about being a banker and thus knowing how to take care of Evan’s money has been repeated on the show and on commercials – because it’s one of the most blatant gold-digging type comments any of them have made. She also admitted in the first episode that she would marry a man for his money.

And it’s all downhill from there. Again from her bio, she says that her best feature is her persistence: “When I have my mind set on something I don't let anything get in the way!” Indeed, and that “anything” that won’t get in her way includes fair play. We saw this right away when it was time for the women to pick out gowns for the ball at which they were officially introduced to Evan. She ran in and grabbed several dresses, knowing full well that there are only enough for one each. She put on one and was holding up others to see how they looked while other women were wandering around with nothing. She apparently felt it was her right to screw the others because, well, she had her mind set on winning.

In the second episode, even Evan, who barely had time to get to know the women, picked out that Heidi was used to getting what she wants and not working too hard! Paul the butler even thought she was a gold-digger! But it was the other women who really jumped on her upon finding out that she had the aforementioned boyfriend at home. Why, they point out, should she compete for a spot against somebody who really might be looking for love? It is interesting that she already has one boyfriend, yet here she is “trying on” another – yes, she handles men the same way she handled the dresses.

All of this just brought out the even pissier side of Heidi, as she tried to weasel out of everything by saying she isn’t sure what she’d do if she got a necklace. Right. Why is it that everybody else knows exactly what she would do – take it and give Evan a big smile. But Heidi just said if she walked out of there with a few more enemies, she didn’t really care. Indeed, I guess $50 million buys a lot of friends – it certainly could have bought Heidi if Evan had picked her (and, of course, if it had been real).

Going back to her bio, perhaps the most amusing question and answer combo is the following:

Q: “Do you get upset when you don’t get your way?”

A: I don't get upset when I don't get my way. How insulting. I believe that phase of my life ended when I was two!!

Um, it did? Funny. So we should consider her muttered “whatever” when she wasn’t picked to move into the final five as something other than her being upset? We should not think that her pouting and poor treatment of Paul the butler when he tried to get her luggage for her had anything to do with her being a sore loser? And who knows what to make of her muttering in bad French! Finally, it was reported on Entertainment Tonight that Heidi is apparently still pissy and said Evan has the personality of a doorknob.

Sorry, but actions speak louder than words, and Heidi’s actions screamed that she should be in the Hall of Shame.

Heidi from ‘Joe Millionaire’ Makes It Even Worse for Herself

by David Bloomberg -- 02/19/2003

Joe Millionaire’s Heidi was already inducted into the Hall of Shame, but her appearance on the finale made it necessary to follow up on her actions. Not only did she fail to explain away her behavior, but she made it even worse!

Just when you think you’ve said everything there is to say about a Hall of Shame inductee, sometimes they come back again and provide even more shameful moments. Such is the case with Heidi from Joe Millionaire, who was inducted shortly after she was given the boot from the show. At the time we noted that she went on the show – a dating show – even though she already had a live-in boyfriend. She even admitted that she wasn’t there to look for love but rather for the trip to Europe. She admitted that she would marry a man for money, thus making her one of the more brazen gold diggers on the show (and that’s saying something right there). And, of course, there was Dressgate, where she grabbed several dresses even though there were only enough for one to a woman.

But when the women came back during the first part of the Joe Millionaire finale, we got even more Heidi – and thus the reason for this update.

Some people who end up in the Hall of Shame (or who just don’t come off looking particularly good) blame the editing. Heidi is no exception, as she claimed she was edited to be the villain. Of course, as other writers have pointed out, if you didn’t do it, they couldn’t show it to begin with. In Heidi’s case, it goes even further because several of the other women made it clear that what we saw was exactly what was going on – to the point that at least one just didn’t even want to talk about her, it was so bad.

As if that weren’t enough, Heidi’s own words serve to show just what kind of person she is and why she deserves to be here. Regarding the dress fight, she said she didn’t think she was rude by taking two dresses – even though, as noted, there were only enough for one per woman. We even saw her snap a “No!” to another woman who asked for one of the dresses she had. Heidi tried to explain her behavior by saying, “We’re not five,” and it’s not about being fair.

She may be right about the first part. As noted in her induction, Heidi acted more like a two-year-old, as described by her own quote in her bio! Indeed, only somebody with the maturity level of a two-year-old would think that sharing is bad and that you should just grab whatever you can. That describes Heidi, and her attempt to “explain” her actions only made it worse.

One subject we didn’t really touch on in Heidi’s induction was the whole thing with the horse, where she had all these problems on the horseback riding date and had to eventually just get off and leave the rest of them. This came back again in the finale as several of the women complained about her attitude, how she shouldn’t have bothered to get on the horse to begin with, and her ploy to get attention from Evan. Frankly, I think of all the things she did, this was the most minor piece, but it’s a piece nevertheless and so deserves at least a brief mention.

Then the boyfriend issue came up again. She claimed that if she had decided to go further with Evan, she would have broken ties with her boyfriend. Readers might note that it wasn’t exactly her idea to “break ties” as it was. Now personally, if I were her boyfriend, I would have been a little bit put off by this claim. (OK, if I were her boyfriend I would have thrown her out on her ass a long time ago.) I mean, she went on a show to compete for a guy’s affections, and she admits that she would have just tossed aside her live-in boyfriend if she had done well. (Presuming, of course, that we believe her. I don’t, but I’m just taking her own words at face value for right now.) Then again, her boyfriend is no genius either as he had no problem with her going on the show and had his own version of a Melissa-ism when he said that Heidi is the “most funnest girl I know.” And she had the nerve to insult Evan?! Oh, and she made it clear anyway that she “wears the trousers” in the relationship. Like there was any doubt.

As far as how the whole boyfriend issue affected the other women, Heidi said she doesn’t know what they were all afraid of. Obviously, she said, they were scared of her. Well, yeah, I’d be scared to be locked in a house with a psycho too! But let’s face it, they weren’t afraid of her – they just didn’t like her. She had an attitude problem, she had a boyfriend, she was nasty, etc.

For all of the same reasons that she ended up here in the Hall of Shame, she also ended up being disliked by pretty much everybody in the house – from the other women to Evan and even to Paul the Butler. Hopefully, now that her 15 minutes of shame are over, we won’t ever have to hear from her again.

Joe Millionaire Episode Reviews

Zora's Place